For the first time I left a message on a Facebook page being critical to ITV, here's what happened...
T was ready for bed an watching Agent Oso on YouTube through the TV, he had been watching for half an hour as a treat for his good behaviour at nursery, when I switched off YouTube ITV was on, the one where a man (sorry not sure of his name!) was suspended from a bridge, battered and bruised with his brother(?) above him. T saw this for literally seconds before I switched it off, it was 1905.
I took T to bed and settled him, whilst he was asking questions like 'why was that man hanging from the bridge?' 'What did he had blood on him?' 'Why didn't the other man help him?' 'How will he get down?' All these questions from seeing probably 4 seconds of this clip. It took even longer to get him to settle that night and at 1pm he woke screaming, when I asked him why, he couldn't remember, it's not happened since thank goodness so I'm pretty sure it was down to these disturbing images he saw before going to bed.
So... I took myself off to ITV's Emmerdale Facebook page and posted something like 'Trying to explain why a man is battered and suspended from a bridge to a 3 year old. Not something I should have to do, very irresponsible ITV and Emmerdale producers, this should be kept for after watershed'
I felt like I needed to vent my complaint and I still stand by this 100% scenes like this should not have been shown before the watershed.
The next morning I recieved 34 likes, 34 strangers agreed with me and showed their support by liking my comment, I was grateful and felt satisfied that I did have a right to complain. Later in the day though things changed, I received a comment which said it was not the ITV's fault, it was mine, any good parent would have a 3 year old in bed long before 7. I couldn't believe this, this person didn't know me, didn't know my situation, how dare they judge me because I had complained to the ITV. I replied with 'Excuse me? There's a watershed for a reason. The ITV are in the wrong here not me!' She never responded. Then within minutes I received another from someone else asking what sort of parent am I blaming the ITV when my 3 year old should have been in bed. My reply went like this 'Thanks for taking time to give me parenting advice, I stand by my complaint'. Her reply? You are welcome you obviously need it, I have 4 kids and they were all in bed before 7 at 3 years old. Well at this I saw red, I wanted to write back 'wow, you must have been some parent you self righteous £*[<!, now jog on' luckily a friend stopped me and told me that I didn't need to, that they were making themselves look stupid without any help from me and to focus on the people who were supportive.
I deleted my comment along with the trolls, to be honest I just couldn't trust myself not to say something. My anger wasn't really for myself, although I know I'm not a perfect parent, I'm not doing a bad job. But then who is a perfect parent? I certainly don't know any! Or know any who would claim to be. But then that's the 'beauty' of social media isn't it? You can pretend to be whoever you like, you can conveniently forgot the times you screwed up and when you are leaving comments you can judge and give opinions that maybe can't be backed up 100%.
My anger is for the situation, these horrible people don't know my situation, they judged without knowing and could have made me feel really bad. This got me thinking... When they decided to give me parenting advice did they know that my son is at nursery all day and I get to spend only an hour with him before bed? Did they know that in a month he'll be 4 and if I'd put a 4 year old would they still have commented? Did they know that he was ready for bed and I just switched off his program? Did they know that he woke up screaming in the night? No they didn't and I'm sure they would have something to say on all of these too, but my point is they don't know me, they didn't know that maybe my son was autistic and I'd been struggling all day (he's not) they didn't know if I had a baby and post natal depression whilst trying to deal with a 3 year old (I don't and I haven't got a baby or pnd). They don't know if I'm a single parent dealing with 1 or more children alone with no support (again I'm not) they don't know any of these things, for some people, in some situations, comments questioning their parenting skills could actually have been incredibly harmful and that's why I'm angry.
Every time you leave a comment please think, am I being judgemental? Could this comment upset someone? How will this comment make someone feel? And if you think that it could be taken negatively, why not scroll on? Why judge? Why feel the need to put someone down?
I know something, these ladies have screwed up before, that much I do know, no-one is perfect, no-one, so please don't judge or give unwanted advice to make yourselves feel better.