It still seems like only yesterday that we lost you, one of the wort days of my life and the worst experience ever. It started in the early hours of what should have been your 14th birthday and later when you should have been eating steak for your birthday dinner, we were saying goodbye instead.
In my head I still hear your collar jingle as you jump off our bed, and turn round and still expect you to be behind me but you're not.
T thinks you were his dog, he even has a photo of you in his room and calls you his dog as though you knew each other, the irony! You'd have hated him! You would have been most put out for a baby/child to have come along and taken up some of my time with you, yes on your grumpy days you would have snapped, it just couldn't have been done and maybe that's part of why I never wanted children... I loved you more.
5 years now I've been without you, you'd think I'd like not getting up at 5.30 and going on a nice long walk come rain or shine, I don't, I miss it desperately. I miss you desperately. Nothing will ever take your place, nothing. Despite your sometimes grumpy nature you were the best, we knew each other, I knew when to leave you alone, when you needed your space, I understood that and we got on.
I hope that if you are somewhere, you are free. The freedom that your wilful nature wouldn't allow too much when you were alive, running free in the fields as you did on the rare occasions you did as you were told and came back without too much fuss. Playing with other dogs.
Be free my boy, the one thing that makes it easier is knowing you are no longer restricted.
I love you.