|FAMILY|Being a better Mummy | LarabeeUK

|FAMILY|Being a better Mummy

Recently I've been reading quite a few blog posts questioning some mothers public display of criticism of their children, words such as 'little arsehole' 'shits' 'they regret ever having them'  you get the picture...

Whilst I'm not quite so strong as to criticise these people there are times that I do feel uncomfortable about social media firing a tirade of abuse towards their children, I just hope that because the parent lets off steam on social media they refrain from doing it directly to the child either verbally or physically. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't feel shocked or uncomfortable if a friend posts a quick post saying 'God {name} has been a little shit today' or something similar, I'm quite sure that the people I know don't actually say this directly to their children or go any further than a rant on Facebook or Twitter!

It has, however, made me question my own attitude to T, quite frankly he has been a 'little shit' lately, I most certainly haven't called him one or any other form of name calling, but I'm afraid I've not been dealing with his tantrums very well, I also feel that I've been moaning about him a little too much on social media.

Whilst I don't want to sugar coat my life and pretend it's all sweetness and light I also want to work on the positives of my experience of parenthood and not just the negatives, so from now I'll only be constructive with any criticism and will refrain from name calling.

And the biggest one for me, is to work on my temper whilst he's mid-tantrum, I'll aim not to scream back at him or shout and get upset.  I also won't smack him again, yes this week I'm ashamed to say I did give him a smack on the bottom and I've felt sick ever since, it was 2.30am he'd been screaming for 35 minutes, he'd thrown his garage across the room, he had tipped over his toy box and he'd ripped off a wet pull up pant and thrown it at the door.  His screaming was uncontrollable, I was on my own and I snapped, luckily he'd put a new pull up on and I smacked his bottom just one smack, not really hard and it really didn't make any difference to him other than a bit of shock, did it stop him?  No, he went on for another 45 minutes or so!  Has he mentioned it since?  No, not at all.  Have I forgotten it?  No, I never will.  I really lost it and I'm desparately sad that happened.

From now on, I will do my utmost to be a good parent, I will try to remain calm or walk away.  I will not argue with him or scream back at him in realittation.  I will also resist the urge to rip the throat out of the judgemental Mummy when he throws a wobbly in public or remind the tutting old lady that she's so old she's probably forgotten that her children had tantrums, I also will try to be nice and smile at the condescending Mummy at nursery who's little girl 'never behaves like that' (her words, said loud enough for me to hear).  The point is I will THINK and set a good example!

So, a little message for Thomas...

Boo, I love you more than anything, you are the child I never knew I wanted, the baby I never thought I'd have and my god, I am so glad that fate intervened and you came along.  Those first few months we went through so much to make sure you were ok and I made so many changes in order to give you the very best start in life.

I'm sorry that sometimes I shout and get cross, I shouldn't, it's my job to set you a good example, shouting at you, telling you not to shout really isn't doing that is it? 

Arguing with you over nothing just teaches you to argue more...

So, now I will think, and try and be the best Mummy you could ever have, the Mummy you deserve, the Mummy you think I am, your 'Mumma' as you've started to call me.

I adore you baby boy and I know you adore me too, from now on I'll aim to be that Mumma you love and look up to.


  1. Leandra this is lovely and a great reminder for me as I'm the same with losing my temper. You are not alone! X

  2. Raising a toddler is hard. I always try and remind myself they don't want to behave badly and they won't enjoy screaming / crying. I always try and name Georgia's feelings to help her express herself which works well but still sometimes she can't and instead cries. It's hard hard hard and you shouldn't beat yourself up about how you handle it. Just think one day he'll be a teenager and you'll think these years are a breeze!

  3. This is a lovely post really, although you probably don't view it that way. Firstly, don't beat yourself up over the smack. We all have trouble sometimes keeping things together when kids are being 'little shits' and you feel guilty. Acknowledge that feeling and move on, at least you know you won't do it again. :) I have often called Luke names when he hasn't been around. If an adult was being as difficult or as stubborn as toddlers are mid tantrum, you'd definitely say something to them! I would never say those words directly to him though. I don't judge others for saying it on social media and in a lot of cases it's a 'what a little shit lol' kind of thing. T is adorable and a real cutie and he loves his mumma :-) You're brilliant honey, hugs xx

  4. Totally see where you are coming from and agree. Sometimes at the end of the day I feel I wasn't as calm or patient as I could have been and then feel guilty. It's a hard job bringing up kids! Think I will try and take on board some of the things you have said! Really nice post.

  5. What a good reminder for all of us mums, Leandra. It's hard and I am guilty for snapping too, we all are. Kids being a monkey sometimes and our patience is put to the test, it's a learning process both ways. I love all the things you do with little T, you're a brilliant mumma.

    Melody x


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